What’s up everybody! (you know, every time I say that, I want to say ‘Hello Bujamburan’s’, from George of the Jungle, but I don’t really know the social implications of just addressing people from Bujambura on this channel, so for what it’s worth if y’all are out there…Hi) It’s ya boi, Bethany Griffiths, coming atcha almost live, with this month’s Beta Test, a game review platform where I choose one game a month to go ham on until either I get better or get wrecked. All in the hopes that I can provide you with a completely (un)biased review. 

What a month it’s been. I’m ass deep in possibly contagious patients, while getting a severe case of anxiety induced hypochondria, which means I’m fine at home, but can’t physically breathe at work because my windpipe feels like it’s burning, and my chest has an unpoppable bubble in it. Due to that, I’m also ass deep in the escapism of video games, because nothing says intense fear like burying my head in the sand and playing something I know I have a fighting chance at winning (because let’s be real here, there is no war in Ba Sing Se, and there is no COVID-19 pandemic in Melbourne). I’m not on my 5th drink into the night, you are. That’s not Gin, it’s…Cranberry soda? Ugh. 

Ori and the Blind Forest is a multi level platformer that expresses story line through conservation and activism, implementing heart-string moments and themes such as loss, love, and light, to exemplify the circle of life (Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba). You play as Ori, a child of the Spirit Tree, the Governing force of the land of Nibel. Ori must reunite the elements to bring back peace to the land. It’s a harrowing journey, one only achievable with the force of your love, and the strength of your character (sometimes literally).

Developed by Moon Studios GmbH, and Published by Xbox Game Studios, Ori is a fantastic way to channel your quarantine tension into gamer tension instead. Judging by the ferocity of which I tried to demolish this game, the average noob will spend the better part of a week dodging obsticles, jumping from lanterns, and trying REALLY FUCKING HARD to get passed the water tree timer level (aka. My Hell). 

The game is a classic platformer with power ups, levels, and enemies you can’t defeat with one blow. In this way, I really respect the game. It takes what I loved about the game play of Hollow Knight, the un-linear nature and learned abilities, swishes it around with the skill set of Vampyr, with the skill tree, and power up choice, and wraps it up in a small little animal based package. 

Really I can only downfall this game in one area. I can’t berate it for the lack of extra lives you get, because you create your own save points. Nor can I discredit the amount of storytelling, as you can play as a pure story base, or branch out into various degrees of difficulty. No, the only fault I have with Ori and the Blind Forest is that you can’t set the WASD keys. I spent forever playing hollow knight, so when the switch over happened, I was constantly pressing D expecting to dash, only to find the ctrl key sitting wondering why the hell it wasn’t being used. There are options, oh yes, but shifting to the mouse isn’t going to fly, and the other configurations hurt my small Bethany head to try and figure it out. Long story short, I got stuck for a WHILE wondering why I wasn’t moving like I’ve seen every other gamer move. (and no, it’s not cos I suck. I take pride in my inability to game. Come at me Susan)

Over all though, Ori and the Blind Forest is a delightful game, choc full of explorative adventures waiting to be found. I had a great time finding new hidey holes and creating chaos where I could. Overall a very impressive, constructive game with a wholesome vibe, and super fun art style. 

Yo dawg, I heard you liked the game, so I put a score in your review, so you could game while you game, and for that reason I give this Xzibit, I mean, Game:

4/5 NARU’S for style
0/5 NARU’S for plotline
0/5 NARU’S for easiness
5/5 NARU’S for Aesthetic jumping maneuvers 

What? It’s over? Well not so fast. CROSS PROMOTION TIME. Have you ever enjoyed a podcast? Do you listen to The Monthly? A podcast called FRED? FRED watch? Then you’ll love to hear me ramble on my super new and impressive DnD podcast! ‘Wow, I’m interested’, you say? So am I! The Support Party is a podcast of stressed women playing Dungeons and Dragons with all supporting roles! We bring the drama, to bring you Calm-a (not Karma, which is a totally different thing, and I can not guarantee the expression of Karma onto any individual, but ya like to think it’s there right? anyway…). Follow our journey, comin atcha live in the next few weeks at #thesupportparty. Get on it!

Till then, I’ve been and always will be Bethany Griffiths, and this has been Beta Test, A game review platform where I either got better or got wrecked. All in the hopes that I can provide you with a completely (un)biased review.

Stay safe out there, and if you get COVID-19, remember, it’s a string of RNA, and you’re a pussy if you let RNA beat you. It’s not even DNA based! (not but seriously stay safe. I love you. Take care of our imuno-compromised and elderly. Don’t be a dick with toilet paper. God is watching). 

See you all next time!