Deponia

Do you hear the bells, sweet symphony all seem to say throw cares awa- wait what the hell? It’s November already? But there’s so many things I haven’t done yet! I’m nowhere near being the international sensation I set out to be this year, I don’t have a one person apartment in inner Melbourne, I haven’t got my P plates, and I CERTAINLY haven’t worked out my ‘seasonal’ depression yet. This year is all going by way to quickly and, to quote a popular Vine [because I’m that person who’s vine addiction has bled into their entire speech pattern]

…

I am confusion.

Hello my rust buckets! I’m a Bethany Griffiths, and this is Beta Test. A game review platform where I – a seasonally regretful, self confessed Noob – choose one game a month to go ham on until either I get better or get wrecked. All in the hopes that I can provide you with a completely unbiased review.

So what gives, why does the year have to end when it feels like it’s only just begun? Is the ever flowing nature of time doomed to stay constant? Or can I buy it out with some cheetos and a half drunk can of Dr. Pepper? Well if you’re like me and the biggest thing you’ve done this year is go on holiday, you’ll agree that no matter how many fun events you’ve been to, you need WAAAY more time to get your shit together before the new year. [ and for me, this list of events includes a birthday where the main theme was ‘Egg’ and we chanted in a giant circle to the birthday boy as he blew out his candles. Clearly I need way more time to get on that level]

This month I used Deponia as my scapegoat from the outside world and impending doom that is the new year. Published and Developed by Daedalic Entertainment, [ a company that I didn’t realise was at all based in Hamburg until I got stuck wondering why there was such a big German following. You’d think that with a character called Wenzel it’d click sooner, but what can I say, I’m slower than a mower as of late] Deponia is the story of an ass-hole who wants to go on an adventure and escape his home town, instead of take responsibility for himself…Oops, sorry, I mean it’s about a “dreamer who has the burning desire to be more than what his life has set out for him”.

Who is also an ass-hole.

[Seriously, this guy’s first few actions involve him trying to sneak into his ex girlfriend’s room, cuss out his best friend, and steal a mailbox. He’s a flawed dude] Don’t let that put you off though. While my first impression was, ‘wow this dude’s an ass-hole”, followed closely by “I hope he dies so I can play as the girl character’, Rufus grew on me, and by the end I only had slight worries about his morality skew.

But enough of the main character, you want to hear the pros and cons of ~THE GAME~, So I’ll start from the top and go down. The tutorial was VERY wordy. There was a lot of banter that was supposed to be smart and witty, that came off as childish and annoying. It could have been pulled off way better, and I found it kind of a let down to the start of a game. What I am kind of glad of however, is that it was all one big hit, so I could start playing right away. There’s something to be said for a game that lets you get on with the story.

If you get through the tutorial, you’re greeted with a really good intro song, cowboy style, that framed the game and world in a way I can only classify as brilliant. It was here that I started to enjoy the actual game. Oh, and the sound quality is great. You know when you get that scratchy discordant vocal that you have to turn down to VOL LV.2 to get any sort of semblance of words? Well this is ~smooth sailing~ all the way through my ear drums. Even the bad sounds are well levelled. Who knew that the volume maketh the game?

The lack of skippable cut scenes busted my Jimmies like Judy Neutron on a school night in retroville, because as we all know, there’s only so many times you can be forced to sit still and listen before you rage quit, and I blew my top about 12 years ago when Kingdom hearts pulled that kind of malarkey. BUT, the voice actors really knew their stuff, and it was a lot easier to get through when there was such an amusing cast.

Quite honestly, and this sounds overdone but bear with me, this has got to be the most thought out, witty, visually pleasing games I’ve played in years. It reminded me so much of the 90’s games I grew up with, like Freddi Fish, and Putt-Putt, but with so much more adult humour. I have to pull out all the strings because I need to give you a good review, but honestly Deponia is such a breath of fresh air from the stale games I’ve been mainlining. I’d gladly go back to it any time [which I will because it’s number one in a series, yay!]

Which means that because of the way the characters interact, and the good vibes, I give this game:

5/5 Horny Bulls for style
3/5 Horny Bulls for plot line
2/5 Horny Bulls for easiness
5/5 Horny Bulls for the adult innuendo, I mean lord almighty the innuendo!

So there you have it. The goofy German game I will be playing for the rest of the year while I scrounge around to find myself before it turns into another *New Years*, and if you’ve been following me, you know how that goes.

In any case, I’ve been a Bethany Griffiths, and this has been a freaked out by the passage of time Beta Test. A game review platform where I either got better or got wrecked. All in the hopes that I can provide you with a completely unbiased review.

Oh, P.S…uuuh…If you ever google ‘Deponia Goal’, turn on safe search. Please. Trust me.