Beta Test #18: Five Nights at Freddy’s

Beta TestNO. no. no no no n0 no. No. I got wrecked. I got totalled. This game got me gooder than that one time my grade 5 teacher showed us that jump scare car video.  Never again will I turn to the inky black depths of a dark room and think I’m ok. You Freddy have ruined the already fragile inner workings of my mind. There may be no return, I may lock myself in a safe room, crying to the world, “Let’s Eat! LETS EAT!”.

*wailing noises of defeat*

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Hello, Hello my night shift workers, I’m Bethany Griffiths, and this is Beta Test. A game review platform where I, a very scared little Beta Test girl, choose one game a month to go ham on until either I get better or get wrecked. All in the hopes that I can provide you with a completely (un)biased review.

So with the VR game out and about, with creepy bunnies, and plot holes up the wazoo, I thought it was time to review…I can’t even type it without fear… Five Nights at Freddy’s. The ultimate pizza night horror game that makes my heebies jeebie around like cats on a hot tin roof, singing Memory. Am I mixing my metaphors? Yes, but you can’t blame me, I’ve been through hell damn it.

Five Nights At Freddy’s, Developed and published by notorious scary man Scott Cawthon, is a jump scare based horror game revolving around click based actions, such as opening and closing doors, and turning lights on and off, and scary music queues to get through and ultimately survive FIVE (six) NIGHTS.  

I’ll be forthcoming with the fact that this is a game that I didn’t play a lot of this month. Why? Because I had to play in 15 minute intervals and take very long breaks to make me want to play it again. I am absolutely scared of this creepypasta wannabe game, and no one is going to be able to calm my fears. Thank GOD there are people that are braver than me! If you want the scare without the care, I urge you to watch Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, Treecicle, and Game Theory to get a good learning experience, because hell that’s what I did.

Now, aside from playing with my eyes closed the entire time, I was able to get the main mechanics and complete up to level two. A TERRIFIC FEAT FOR ME if I do say so myself (And I do!). I appreciated the amount of fear I was able to receive in a small dose. It’s been a long time since I was this scared by a game this way (even if the time trials in Spyro scare the shit out of me). I was thoroughly impressed by the nature of the game as well. The mechanics are so simple, click, tap, click, tap, but the value for money you get is huge. With that being said, this is the OG game that sparked a franchise, so I have some reservations about character design and plot points, that, with ONLY looking at this game, look clunky, and mashed together. For instance, we get the idea that kids are involved heavily in the haunting of the animatronics (spoiler alert? Do I need that in here?) but without the wider community chipping in, we would have no idea that the purple man was a thing, or that Golden freddy wasn’t a glitch. Scott could have been a lot less subtle about the story arc and the gave would have still held integrity.

Moving on, I want to commend Scott on the fantastic display of gravitas he’s pulled with FNAF. It takes cajones to create the idea for, make, and publish a game yourself, and I’m so glad he did. This really is a brilliant game, even if I can’t play it (and the lore is too complicated). I appreciate the time and effort that went into making millions of people so scared they buy the whole game set. (If I could see one thing from this game it would be a safe mode *please*)

Because of the just plain creepiness of the graphics and sound score, but the sheer terror, I give this game:

4/5 Creepy Animatronics for style
5/5 Creepy Animatronics for plot
0/5 Creepy Animatronics for easiness
NO/5 Creepy Animatronics for The never ending franchise that I’ll probably be made to play through *Sigh*

So, my dudes! I’ve been Bethany Griffiths, and this has been a Scaaaary Beta Test. A game review platform where I either got better or got wrecked. All in the hopes that I can provide you with a completely unbiased review. If you have a game that you want me to give my two cents on, Please let me know!

Until next time,

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