FRED Watch Quickie Film Review: The Sand (2015)

TREMORS ON THE BEACH

I’m a Wayne Stellini and welcome to FRED Watch, where we review everything from the mainstream to the obscure. Today’s film is the B-grade monster movie The Sand

Taylor and Dodge

Following a rowdy Spring break party, eight classmates awake on the beach to discover that their friends are gone and that the sand has an appetite for flesh…

Sticking closely to genre tropes—and not that there is anything wrong with that—this has all the potential for a low budget masterpiece. However, even taking this for what it is, The Sand falls short of what could have been; you only need to look at the cult classic Tremors to see where this movie should have gone.

Instead, moments of intended tension are put aside to watch dull interpersonal relationships sort themselves out after spunk Jonah (Australian Idol contestant Dean Geyer) cheats on girlfriend Kaylee (Brooke Butler) with an unapologetic Chanda (Meagan Holder).

Thankfully, there’s still some silliness to enjoy here. The computer-generated gore is fun and Cynthia Murell is unintentionally hilarious as Ronnie; she “acts” (if this is what the profession will allow me to call it) in a manner that would make Tommy Wiseau proud! Every bit of her poorly written dialogue is so badly delivered, Murell at least elevates the movie to a far more enjoyable standard than it has any right to be. I found myself laughing out loud whenever she opened her mouth.

As for the rest of the cast, Cleo Berry spends most of his time in a bin with an ever-changing penis drawn on his face, former Playboy Playmate Nikki Leigh brings her expertise to the table, and it’s remarkable that Jamie Kennedy’s career has come to this.

Not to be taken seriously by any means, and best watched with a beer and pizza, but audiences deserved more from The Sand2 / 5

 

Starring: Brooke Butler, Meagan Holder, Cynthia Murell, Dean Geyer, Cleo Berry, Mitchel Musso, Hector David Jr., Nikki Leigh, Etalvia Cashin, Jamie Kennedy.

Director: Isaac Gabaeff | Producers: Gato Scatena, Jordan Rosner | Writers: Alex Greenfield, Ben Powell | Music: Vincent Gillioz | Cinematographer: Matt Wise | Editor: Sean Puglisi

Available: Amazon

Let us know what you thought of this film in the comments!

 

I’ve been a Wayne Stellini and you’ve just experienced FRED Watch.

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